6-months long relationship or 20-years long marriage – they all get into crisis at some point. Whatever is the reason behind it, all couples usually want the same – to put an effort into saving their relationship. And it’s completely understandable – who would want to simply abandon something they built and worked on for months, years, or even decades? It takes some wisdom to do this so here are some of the most important things to know if you want to save your relationship.
Know how to criticize
This one might seem easy but choosing the wrong words when criticizing your partner might be just the thing that led you to the point where you start worrying about saving your relationship. Yes, all people have flaws and yes, there are some things that you hate about your partner but if you want to save your relationship, you have to learn how to criticize. It’s not a solution to just stop pointing out the bad stuff and keep them to yourself but you can limit yourself to three sentences. That’s more than enough to describe the problem and not add any unnecessary judgment and make things only worse.
Know how to praise
Now, telling someone they did something wrong is fairly easy but praising your significant other when you’re relationship is in crisis is a whole other thing. That’s exactly why it’s so important to learn that – so you can remind both yourself and your partner that there are still good things in your relationship. You can actually use praise as a way to disarm your partner – if you use humour and try to see the good side of the habits that used to annoy you before. For example, if your partner doesn’t take anything serious and avoid conversation about problems, you can tell him how you love his sense of humour and his easygoingness. He will stop to think about it and it can encourage new behaviour for both of you.
Know how to see things objectively
When it comes to relationships, making a zoom out and looking at things from a different, objective perspective might be the hardest thing to do, but also very important if you want to see things clearly. That’s why playing a little game with yourself might be a good idea. Next time a fight happens, imagine that you start screaming at your partner while you’re having a nice guest staying overnight. That will give you the perspective of how things look from the outside and calm you down for a start. Of course, asking professionals for help is always a good idea, so make use of counselling services and get an objective view of your relationship.
Know how to listen
The key to a healthy relationship is communication so the breakdown in it can cause many problems. Ask any experts from the counselling field and they’ll tell you the same thing: listen to your partner. And it is important but knowing how and what to listen is essential in a crisis. For example, if you got tired of your significant other constantly nagging about the issue that’s bothering him you should learn how to initiate those conversations. Your partner will appreciate the chance to finally talk about what’s bothering him and tell you everything in one swoop, so you’ll basically kill many birds with one stone. And remember – you don’t need to have the solutions to those problems – just listening and nodding can often help.
Saving your relationship from failing might be a rocky road but with the tips mentioned above, you have a lot to gain and very little to lose. After all, even if you do lose some time and don’t succeed, at least you’ll know you’ve tried your best. But first – go talk to your significant other because communication is everything!